WINNER! Unpronounceable Receives Philip K. Dick Award Special Citation for Excellence

I would brag if I cared what other people think of me. Okay, so I'm bragging. The story of yours truly, how I came to another planet and turned it into the perfect world for you-know-who, making sure the rest of humanity has to stay far away if I say so. Sure, you want to come here. Well you can't. Not unless you have lots of cash and then only for a short vacation.